Trying and Failing Over and Over Again
Consistent Bible reading has been difficult for me for as long as I can remember. I would get excited, hit the ground running, and I’d do well and read every day for a couple weeks and then life would get in the way. Missed days would become weeks and the guilt would set in. I’m a Christian and I should be reading my Bible. I would give it a go again and when I’d start missing days again, I would admit defeat and say things like “I’m just not good at this.”
However, since the first of the year, I have been consistent with the help of a “Read the Bible in a Year” plan and my spiritual life is reaping the harvest! The more I read, the more I want to read. I’m learning new things I didn’t know before and verses I know I’ve read before are jumping off the pages and penetrating my heart.
“For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.” – Hebrews 4:12
I am thankful for this truth!
Getting the Timing Right
Before bed is not a good time for me to read since my pain and brain fog is worse at night, but mornings are difficult too. My bed is just so warm and cozy! And if I stay up too late, I’m more apt to hit the snooze button on my alarm. I’ve been working on having a consistent bed time and wake up time. I’m finding the sweet spot for me is from 6-6:30 am. Everyone is still asleep, the house is calm and quiet. The coffee is strong and I wake up more and more with each glorious sip. This is also the time I get to pray for family and friends and meditate on Scripture.
Sometimes my boys wake up while I’m reading and I have the opportunity to remind them how important it is for me to read my Bible and how important it is for them to do their best to play quietly and be patient for breakfast while I finish. Sometimes that works, and sometimes I end up having to stop what I’m doing and break up arguments and feed starving children.
I’m finding though, when that happens, I really do long to go back to my reading and praying. And this is new for me. God is so faithful to draw my heart back to His throughout the day.
It’s a Marathon, Not a Sprint
I have missed a few days of my Bible reading, but in the past, I would have felt like a failure and quit, feeling like I could never catch up. I’m realizing though, that even though I’d really love to finish reading the whole Bible in a year, this journey I’m on is a marathon and not a sprint. I’m going to have times in my life when reading consistently is difficult and there will be times when it’s easier, but through it all, if I’m trying my best, seeking to know God more than I did before and hide His Word in my heart, it’s all good!
I Won’t Give Up
I know I can’t do it perfectly, or in my own strength, but Christ is glorified when I admit my weakness and rely on His grace! Even if I miss days, I won’t lose heart. Every time I read God’s Word, He changes me and I become more and more like Him, so even when it’s hard and I’ll want to give up, I will refuse, because it’s just too important and I love Him too much.
But He (God) said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” – 2 Corinthians 12:9
“With my whole heart I seek you; let me not wander from your commandments. I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you. Blessed are you, O Lord; teach me your statutes! With my lips I declare all the rules of your mouth. In the way of your testimonies I delight as much as in all riches. I will meditate on your precept and fix my eyes on your ways. I will delight in your statutes; I will not forget your word.” -Psalm 119:10-16